How many times a day when you were little did you get firm reminders from parents or other caregiving adults- to be still, to be quiet, to wait, or other directives in these formative years regarding behavior? Then fast foreword to being an adult; it’s these constant, developmental reminders that just do not come natural for most of us. In a society with pressures to perform and be successful by other people’s definitions, being still and taking time to just find quiet, or wait with patience as a project or proposal sorts out, seems lazy or unproductive- or so I used to believe. I am a student of life. I am constantly seeking opportunities to grow and develop personally and professionally, and I distinctly remember a training submersion years ago in which the instructor planted a seed; maybe my first introduction to a Mantra. “What other people think of me is none of my business”, Kathy said. I come to this often, and share with anyone who seems to be giving their time and energy to what everyone else thinks. This is a perfect Manta to repeat at anytime you need the reminder that you’ve got this- whatever [this] is at the time, but also a perfect Mantra to repeat daily in a quiet time of stillness you create for yourself. Everyone has an extra 10 minutes in the morning before the kids get up for school or your adulting day has to get started…you just have to decide that YOU ARE WORTH IT and make it happen.

Overworking and overdoing have definitely a part of my identity. Again, we are living in a world that is conditioned to associate stillness with inactivity, and inactivity with failure. Take it from me as a female entrepreneur who has pioneered a few businesses before the community was ready…I took on failure as part of my identity too, and I was afraid to try or even have ideas for a long time. When we allow overworking, overdoing or even failures to become how we identified ourselves, we lose track of who we are designed to be. With that comes feelings of frustration, exhaustion, and being unfulfilled or “stuck”. When I was working insane hours chasing a dream, I was just on a different hamster wheel. I didn’t sleep, I didn’t eat right, and I was in a constant state of anxiety thinking I needed to be productive 24/7 to make it work. Yet, I was in a place where I was teaching others stress management, nutrition, and what their health could gain by stillness and quiet time. I had studied it all, believed in everything I was doing and teaching whole heartedly, but not making the time to practice it for my own health very often. My decisions, my performance, my relationships and my life both personally and professionally- suffered by not practicing what I was teaching everyone else.

“When you lose touch with inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself”- Eckhart Tolle

So let’s revisit the lessons we were being taught as children; to be still, to be quiet. Stillness builds resiliency and cognitive flexibility. We can be more adaptive, patient, and cope better to the demands of our life. Stillness actually reduces stress and relieves feelings of being overwhelmed. A constant state of stress takes a physical toll on the body. Stress hormones such as; cortisol and adrenaline, just cannot keep up and certainly cannot self regulate, when we do not take time to find neutral. Being in a state of constant reactive mode, influenced by the “to do” lists and demands heard- inside and outside of our heads, leads to burnout. I was there. I hit the crash in my physical and emotional health. Something had to change. That something was the way I put everyone and everything else first, allowing my self care to not be much importance. With adrenal burnout, and a plethora of other health issues that had exacerbated by years of neglecting my own care, stillness was my only option. Turns out, it was a Divine Intervention for the Adult Time Out my mind, body and spirit needed. Ahhhhh…stillness.

Stillness has a long list of studied health benefits such as improving memory, improving sleep, improving empathy and intuition, and in boosting natural feel good hormones; endorphins, our “feel good” chemicals. What I seem to find out of my stillness and quiet time is a recharge in my creativity. Creativity thrives in stillness; I know may can relate. How many times have you been in a project or working on a plan and you just stop; your creativity and enthusiasm just seem to turn off. Have you noticed how stepping away from it- getting out of your head seems to rekindle some spark? It’s beautiful to know you can jump back in with fresh perspective, just by allowing yourself an adult time out!

Overall, I’d say that stillness, deliberate, mindful stillness, simply boosts every area of my quality of life. I’ve integrated breathing patterns, that are free and always accessible by the way…to bring even more purpose and joy into the moments I’m stuck in traffic or things just don’t seem to be going on my timeline or my way. All this leads me to a place of more calm and peaceful feelings. Considering all that, I’ve noticed how all of my interactions with others has changed for the better.

Consider a few steps to finding stillness in your day. Start with 5 minutes (build up to more time once you feel the changes; you’ll want to). Sitting alone with no distractions like people, TV, phone or other electronics. I like my eyes closed focusing on just breathing in and out. I like the 4×4 breathing… meaning, breath in for count of 4, breath out for count of 4, etc… while focusing on an empowering word. If in the am, maybe you chose JOY or LIGHT, or whatever feels lifting to set your mind to for the day. Maybe if you do this at bedtime again, or when you cannot sleep at 3am ( been there)… think of breathing in for 4 counts repeating PEACE or I like a Manta another teacher shared with me to still my thoughts, “My mind is empty” on my inhales and “My body is vast as the universe” on exhales. You’re breathing in goodness and breathing out and troubles of the day. “Who you are is the space behind your thoughts”- Eckhart Tolle

Obviously, I like Eckhart Tolle. His book, the Power of Now, is available on audio platforms and is a short read I keep on my nightstand. We only have this one life to live on purpose, and it’s too short not to appreciate an Adult Time out! Make time for you. We are all busy being busy, places to be, things to do, little ones to cart around and care for… so be the example. Be still. Find Quiet. Be a happy, healthy creative version of you with just a few minutes a day.